train |trān|
noun
1 a series of railroad cars moved as a unit by a locomotive or by integral motors : a freight train | the journey took two hours by train.
It's day one of my birthday week. I have this odd desire to be on a train. It's probably the idea of movement that ageing evokes. Every year I go through the same stages of ageing:
1. Looking back
It usually starts with a fleeting and completely innocent thought about my previous birthday. "Oh, yeah. The girls came over. We had mojitos at my house." That inevitably leads to thinking about the events around that time, which leads to thinking about all the things that can happen in a year. That leads to some serious stock taking. Who is still around? Who isn't? How many bridges burnt are worth mending? How many friends proved themselves invaluable? How much sorrow? How much joy? How many potentially life-changing decisions? How many outright mistakes? How many breathtaking moments?
2. Sorrow
I'll let The National explain: Sorrow found me when I was young. Sorrow waited, sorrow won. Sorrow they put me on the pill. It's in my honey, it's in my milk.
3. Elation
Every year I take time to say goodbye to a bunch of people and things in my life, and to appreciate the things that are amazing. This year has honestly been the best year of my life so far. From September last year to now so many painful things have happened, but every negative experience was countered with wonderful things that made me feel like I matter to those around me. I try my best not to forget it.
4. Gratitude
I am a lucky person. I am loved and I am happy. I take time to remember all of that before my birthday. I also try to give thanks where it's due.
5. Celebration
One more year on earth, one more spring, more friends, more love, more time to do good, to be better, to try harder, to accept, to change. It's a beautiful thing.
Happy birthday week to me!
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1 comment:
I took a drive today, thought about you.
Thought about a friend who passed, and how much we just went through.
I saw the sun shine off the hood of a cadillac,
I thought about some things i'd say, and some i would take back.
I thought about how fortunate i feel to be alive.
And if you're scared of the future tonight,
We'll just take it each hour one at a time.
It's a pretty good night for a drive,
So dry up those eyes, dry up those eyes.
Because the radio will still play loud,
Songs that we heard as our guards came down.
Like in the summertime when we first met,
I'll never forget, don't you forget,
These nights are still ours.
I still love the way you smile.
I still love the ocean.
We should remember to slow down more often, maybe we will.
There's a lotta good things coming our way right now.
A lotta bad had passed but we survived the breakdowns.
All is forgiven, water under bridges now.
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