Thursday, August 25, 2011

Love



love |ləv|
noun
1 an intense feeling of deep affection : babies fill parents with intense feelings of love | their love for their country.
• a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone : it was love at first sight | they were both in love with her | we were slowly falling in love.

The modern love story irritates me. I refer to the love story in its most popular form, of course. Romance novels, romantic comedies, even great literature (think Jane Eyre and Anna Karenina) all perpetuate the idea that the happiness of individuals is dependent on another person - normally a succesful and/or attractive specimen of the opposite sex. Because I don't want to come across as a bra burner, I won't even start on books and movies like Bridget Jones's Diary.

My irritation has two sources: First, the dreaded Jesus complex. I hate the idea that we need to be saved, that our happiness and success in life is dependent on an external source. It took me a long time to shake that idea. To be honest, I still struggle with it.

Secondly, I think the modern love story prevents people from loving. I love a lot of people deeply. As it happens I was only in a romantic relationship with one of them. The modern love story makes it seem like the love of friends and family is secondary to romantic love, which makes for a generation of very lonely people.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Spoken like a true single. Someone who clearly has never experienced the "saving" love of another. You'll get there..

K.R.Isis said...

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqg0vkrZA21qz6f9yo1_500.jpg

jianreis.com said...

"My irritation has two sources: First, the dreaded Jesus complex. I hate the idea that we need to be saved, that our happiness and success in life is dependent on an external source. It took me a long time to shake that idea. To be honest, I still struggle with it. "

I liked this. I agree with this, and have always insisted that anyone who's unhappy when single would not find the happiness they're looking for in a relationship. I still believe this.

Here's an interesting point of view though: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-pursuit-of-androgyny/

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think it misses the mark on a couple of things, but I like how the author does suggested that being in a relationship with the right person can bring out the best in you, and suppress the negatives.

So maybe there's a bit of both. I still think that if you're incapable of being happy, truly happy and fulfilled while single, you'll never find it while in a relationship.

Fact is, relationships are hard. They're confusing. They're so tied to elements of our own identities and personalities (both ever-changing) that its meant to be tough. I don't think anyone has all the answers, but smug, self-assured comments like the anonymous one left above are typical of someone who thinks they have it all figured out.

I think I feel most sorry for them.

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